Like the undulling numbers of birds on this planet, us humans are equally as busy, "tweetish", and bursting with as much equal energy every single day in our lives on this planet. I don't care where you were born, where you grew up, and, or what your external or internal environment was while growing, both emotionally and intellectually. Us humans, judge. We judge everything! We will judge the colors on someone's outfit, the waistline of our family members, the new restaurant down the block and their tacos. We do it everyday, most of our day, all day. 

The times they be a change-ing

In 2024, the term “Gang Stalking” has gained prominence, reflecting a disturbing phenomenon that transcends mere paranoia. As I reflect on my own experiences, I am reminded of a tumultuous chapter in my life, entangled in a toxic relationship with a man who covertly orchestrated a campaign of emotional coercion and isolation.

As I'm writing this, I realize that I have been repeating cycles in my life over and over and over again in all aspects of my life. I have been afraid to really just let go of control and let things fall where they need to fall. I have been trying so hard to keep things as I saw them, as I also learned that I'm very stubborn to change. So stubborn that divine had to intervene more then I'm sure they even wanted to. The answer I find to breaking these cycles in my life is to block or redirect what wants to sabotage you and to keep faith when the night is dark and full of terrors. We honestly have no control of our lives, but we can strive every day to make it the best for not only ourselves but everyone else living besides us as well. I believe that a ripple or a drop truly can change everything. What are your thoughts? 

I finally did it, finally got somewhat of myself together, by starting this blog! Suhweet, I know, I know, you are all like woop-di-do, how hard could that have been? I will tell you! Two years! Two effing mother-loving years and some change. I have been trying to organize myself, my life, my thoughts, for long enough to get text on paper, or in this case, digital web. I have gone through way too much to not let you in on how and why I got through what I got through. I am a student in meditation and meditation coaching, and I pursue the esoteric arts in my free time. Esoterics? Que? What? you ask, google it. Hehe. I am an upfront blunt, maybe too opinionated girl from Alaska, hence the name. I actually grew up in the Los Angeles area, in the city, they call, studio capital of the world, B-Town, actually Burbank. I moved to Alaska when I was done with high school and lost a boyfriend, my first real boyfriend, in the process. I will catch you up on him later. 

Today’s post is a story close to the heart, one filled with raw emotions and the complexities of human bonds. Imagine a friendship between a man and a woman, both battling their own demons of addiction. This was no ordinary friendship, but one teetering on the edge, held together by shared struggles and the desire to understand.

I thought about this real long and hard one night. I was thinking about the way things were laying out, settling, in the moment. If you are anything like me then you realize that you tend to gamble quite a bit on what is unknown. Many would call us fools or unrealistic, but if you are anything like me, that doesn’t bother us one bit. Let me explain, I have a lot of faith. I tend to always bet on the universe, the unknown, the magic in our everyday lives. This you could call divination, you can call it religion, you can say the divine, the energy, the universe, it’s an umbrella of all this. I believed for some time things would pan out the way i believed it would, it did, but in smaller portions, opportunities. The let down was that it wasn’t as open, opportunistic, as I imagined it would be. I was stumped, yet again. I thought to myself, why? Why was this drawn out now as I imagined or thought was promised? I began to think maybe since we all have free will, in my humble opinion, beliefs, then maybe it was a sum of my worst moments, karma, possibly. Do you believe in karma? I do. I believe that possibly in my weakened moments, when my choices weren’t as high value as I would like this was my outcome. I wouldn’t say punishment, but obstacle. I thought well that’s just completely unfair, but, is it. All in all, its a disappointment, but all in all I can’t complain, much. I do think, and I do believe, that nothing is lost, its just challenged to us again. What do you think?

Fasting has never been my favorite. I've made several attempts for various reasons, often inspired by witnessing my parents' devout fasting for spiritual purposes. I used to think, "How challenging could it truly be?" The answer, as I discovered, was quite challenging.